IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed

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The choice of pursuing a
field
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 of
study
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 is not a trivial one. In fact, it is not uncommon for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
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 to
second guess
Add a hyphen
second-guess
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 their choice of
study
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. The prompt
suggest
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suggests
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 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational institutions should dissuade
students
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 from pursuing fields of
study
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 in which they are unlikely to succeed. In my opinion, I disagree with the suggestion as no one can predict the future of any
student
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 for three reasons.
To begin
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, educational institutions should not dissuade
students
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 from pursuing their respective
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
field
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 as they cannot predict the future.
For instance
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, if a
student
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 wants to become an engineer, but lacks mathematical or analytical knowledge. Rather than discouraging and demotivating, the
student
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 should be given
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
tools
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 and knowledge to enhance his/her skills. By providing them with the best academic
tools
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, you never know when they start finding subjects like mathematics, physics or anything related to engineering interesting. The above example illustrates that
,
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational
institutes
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 have no right
in dissuading
Change preposition
to dissuade
show examples
students
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to take
Change preposition
from taking
show examples
any
field
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 of
study
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. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, they should be providing the best available academic
tools
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 to the
students
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 and help them gain interest in their respective
Use synonyms
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.
Further
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, it is not relevant to judge the person on two factors
such
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 as fame and money, to decide if the person is successful or not.
For instance
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, if a
student
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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likes mathematics but is not that talented in that
field
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. No one can stop him from becoming a mathematics teacher in an elementary school. For him, he is successful as he is doing what he loves.
Therefore
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, the definition of success is different for everyone and it cannot be judged by any factors.
Finally
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, it is the responsibility of
students
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 to choose
the
Change the word
their
show examples
field
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 of
study
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. No educational
institutes
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 have the right to dissuade
students
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.
However
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,
institutes
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 have the responsibility to help the
students
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 in developing interest and help them
finding
Change the form of the verb
find
show examples
 what they love.
Institutes
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 should expand their libraries with more resources which would encourage the
students
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 to find what they really like.
To conclude
Linking Words
, no educational institute can predict the future of the
students
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. It is the responsibility of the
students
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 to pursue their
field
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 of
study
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,
institutes
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 should only encourage and motivate them by providing the necessary academic
tools
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 and help them
finding
Change the form of the verb
find
show examples
 a
field
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 which they like. The definition of success is different for everyone, so it can not be judged by only two factors
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fame and money.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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