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Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh its advantages.

#people #behaviors #situations #age #peer #pressure #outweigh
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Influencing plays
vital
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a vital
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 role in everyone's life and most of the masses from
young
Add an article
a young
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age
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 are often
influence
Change the form of the verb
influenced
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 by their same
age
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 people.
Although
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, it
have
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has
show examples
 several advantages yet it
also
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have
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has
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 some disadvantages.
This
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 essay describes both sides. Teenagers learn more from those who are
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 similar
age
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 because they
Correct your spelling
feel
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fell
Correct your spelling
feel
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 more confident in front
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them as compared to teachers or parents.
Also
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,they can share everything with each other including personal matters without any kind of shyness,
moreover
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, young
students
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 learn
easily
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easier
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 and faster due to
peer
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pressure
Use synonyms
 which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 in their academics.
For instance
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, according to the survey of 'Times of Japan' 90%
school
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of school
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school
Remove the redundancy
apply
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students
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 perform better because they study with their
same
Add a hyphen
same-age
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age
Use synonyms
 friends during the lockdown period.
This
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 happens because
students
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 who are shy in class,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 feel free to ask anything with their friends.
However
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, sometimes things
goes
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go
show examples
 wrong and the reason is
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
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 because sometimes
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
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 join
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 group as a consequence,they lost
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 track. Apart from
this
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, In
this
Linking Words
 technology world, most of the
students
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 spend their time with social media sites and when they influence
from
Change preposition
by
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 their influencer they quite studies in between and try to do those things which the influencer
done
Add the auxiliary verb
did
has done
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 in his life without
as
Change preposition
apply
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research and they face failure and the cause is
peer
Use synonyms
pressure
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. In summary,
peer
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pressure
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 has both merits and demerits but, its disadvantages do not outweigh its advantages. Because its cons seen in rare cases.
Submitted by Arun Kumar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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