IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Young people often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh its advantages.

#people #behaviors #situations #age #peer #pressure #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Influencing plays a vital role in everyone's life and most of the masses from
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
 are often influenced by their same
age
 pupil.
Although
, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 several advantages yet it
also
 has some disadvantages.
This
 essay describes both sides. Teenagers learn more from those who are
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 similar
age
 because they feel more confident in front of them as compared to teachers or parents.
Also
,they can share everything with each other including personal matters without any kind of shyness,
moreover
, young students learn easier and faster due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peer
pressure
 which helps in their academics.
For instance
, according to the survey of 'Times of Japan' 90%
school
Change preposition
of school
show examples
 learners perform better because they study with their
same
Add a hyphen
same-age
show examples
age
 friends during the lockdown period.
This
 happens because students who are shy in class,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 feel free to ask anything with their friends. So '
peer
pressure
 helps them to incline their confidence. It
also
 helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
undergraduates to exchange
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 knowledge with each other.
However
, sometimes things go wrong and the reason is
peer
pressure
 because sometimes youngsters join
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
 group as a consequence,they lost
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 track. Apart from
this
, In
this
 technology world, most of the students spend their time with social media sites and when they influence
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their influencer they quite studies in between and try to do those things which the influencer
done
Add the auxiliary verb
did
has done
show examples
 in his life without
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
research and they face failure and the cause is
peer
pressure
. In summary,
peer
pressure
 has both merits and demerits but, its disadvantages do not outweigh its advantages. Because its cons seen in rare cases
Submitted by Arun Kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: