IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Crime has been rising amongst young population in many countries. Provide cause and solution.

#crime #population #countries
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Crime is a major problem across the globe. It is observed that there is an increase in illegal activities at many places by adults. Poverty can give birth to
such
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 actions. In
this
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 essay, I will justify the reasons and solutions in the ensuing paragraphs. There are numerous reasons which are connected to crime namely unemployment and poverty.
Firstly
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 commit illegal activities due to a shortage of money and a lack of job opportunities.
In addition
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 to
this
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, it tends one to perform unauthorized tasks which can be harmful to society.
Secondly
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, poverty is analysed as the main cause in almost every country.
Moreover
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, poor
people
Use synonyms
 are having lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food, money and shelter which forces them to pursue illegitimate tasks. To exemplify, as per the report, unlawful activities have increased compared to past times in
this
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 pandemic situation.
Nevertheless
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, the possible solutions to
this
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 cause are providing employment opportunities and giving some small jobs to poor
people
Use synonyms
 to survive.
In other words
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, government and large companies should give equal chances to
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 for better lives.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
hiring
Correct article usage
the hiring
show examples
 team should give preferences to
people
Use synonyms
 having excellent practical and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills.
Submitted by mulchand.sen16 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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