IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal some people. However, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
There is an ongoing debate regarding the progress of a
country
. A group of individuals think that economic growth should be crucial for a nation.
However
, others are of the view that there are numerous types of progress equivalent to financial growth.
This
 essay intends to analyse both perspectives before giving my opinion. Examining the former opine, the foremost argument put forward by the proponents is that economic development will be welcomed the more investors to come. To be more precise,
this
 will be creating big job opportunities and the unemployment rate would be decreased.
For instance
, in the USA more and more investors go there for investing money.
As a result
, 90% of the population have a secure occupation and
that is
 the highest in any
country
 around the globe.
On the contrary
, those in favour of the latter side have their own arguments. To commence with, there are various types of increase that should equally be essential for progressing a nation.
Firstly
, the educational field is play a vital role in any
country
.
In other words
, it will help society be more literate. To epitome, a nation like a scuba has low GDP but less than one per cent of the population is illiterate.
Consequently
, there is less crime and the community enjoy a peaceful existence.
Secondly
, another factor is primary health care. It can be judged by the infant mortality rate and life expectancy at birth. If families receive a good health facility at a preliminary level, they are happier. In my opinion, I firmly support the
second
 view. The main justification is education should be prioritized for any
country
.
Also
, a medical system must be improved for living a better life.
However
, money cannot purchase education, happiness and health. Summing up, literacy rate and education system are equally crucial as economic advancement of any
country
 in the world.
Therefore
, governments should be focused on other types of evolution.
Submitted by karanparikh1907 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: