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Writing Samples
Band 7

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #films #computers #games #books
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It is widely believed that schools should allow
students
 to learn from films, computers and games
instead
 of
books
. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
 statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that doing inquiries from technological devices is beneficial for
students
. One of the main reasons can be that the modern development of electronic devices can allow
students
 to attain an easier learning approach. As our modern society is saturated with rapid advancements in the technology field, allowing
students
 to take advantage of these developments can result in a better school life. Another reason can be the innovative development of many new learning programs online. Various software is designed for
students
 to learn with easy access, making it convenient for pupils to study at any time without the need to travel to a library.
For example
, Khan Academy is a modern program that consists of numerous online lessons that pupils can study from.
On the other hand
, I disagree with the viewpoint that
books
 are not an efficient method to learn.
Firstly
, there are various benefits that can only be attained by doing inquiries on
books
. Studying using
books
 requires
students
 to improve their focus, memory and interpreting data skills.
This
 is because reading forces pupils to use more cognitive skills, encourages their thought process, and expands their memory.
As a result
 of
this
,
students
 have higher chances of succeeding when learning considering the beneficial skills.
Secondly
, certain information is only available in
books
 and documentaries.
For instance
, some historical quotes and stories are only documented in
books
.
Therefore
,
books
 allow
students
 to have access to a more diverse range of information. In conclusion,
although
 many suggested that learning using films, and online software is more effective, I'm convinced that the benefits of
books
 still play a crucial role in the academic field.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay has a clear position throughout. The 'partly agree and disagree' approach can sometimes result in an under-developed argument.
task achievement
Develop the main arguments further with more detailed examples. The more specific the examples, the stronger and more convincing your essay will be.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow and clarity between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Balance the development of each side of the argument. If you choose a balanced argument, ensure that both views are equally developed to avoid bias.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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