In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Concerning clothing,
people
are forgetting the root of their traditions under the influence of western-style
dress. We might have noticed that in recent years Change the capitalization
Western-style
people
tend to wear suits and jeans rather than their traditional clothes. I believe that this
trend
is a negative development and this
essay tends to support this
idea.
The fashion and advertising industries are the root causes of people
's tendency to western-style
dress. These two industries are very powerful corporations that fuel many other industries. They have a huge amount of revenue and they play an indispensable role in the individual’s preferences. Their activities come in sequence. Change the capitalization
Western-style
First
the fashion industry invents a style and Add a comma
First,
then
the advertising industry plays its own part to tempt people
to buy the products. These kinds of advertisements lure people
to buy goods without the
insight into what really benefits their culture.
The second major reason behind Correct article usage
apply
this
trend
is the development of high-tech devices which made mass production possible. Mass production along with
the low-quality materials in turn results in the
low-price dresses. Many traditional clothes are handmade and they are made of high-quality fabrics which can be used for a long period. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, they are costly which is actually reasonable. This
situation leads that
to the less popularity of traditional clothing Correct word choice
apply
in
many middle-class and low-class citizens.
I believe that Change preposition
among
this
development is a negative one that can have destructive effects on society. First of all, although
the world today is more a
small well-linked global village rather than Change preposition
of a
separate
Correct article usage
a separate
entities
, it is very important that different traditions Fix the agreement mistake
entity
such
as food, clothing, culture and
etc. followed by the citizens of each country. Correct word choice
apply
This
not only results in maintaining the individual
and identity of different nations but Replace the word
individuality
also
attracts many tourists who are willing to visit countries with different traditions. Which in turn may result in a rise in the total revenue of the country. Secondly
wearing jeans and suits may lead to vanishing
Correct article usage
the vanishing
many
traditional jobs and Change preposition
of many
the
stores related to traditional clothing.
In conclusion, I believe that there are many reasons involving Correct article usage
apply
this
trend
and it has adverse impacts on societies. Familiarizing youngsters with traditional clothes is of significant importance in reversing this
trend
.Submitted by deh.raika on
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Task Response
Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt and provides focused, specific examples to support the points made. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main ideas of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Overall, the essay demonstrates a clear organization with a logical progression of ideas. However, consider using more linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas within paragraphs and throughout the essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed and supported with appropriate examples and evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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