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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

#shops #supermarkets #area #affect #communities #situation
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Many small local
shops
 have been closed in recent years because customers prefer to do their shopping in large shopping centres or malls. In my opinion,
this
 is a negative development as losing local
shops
 in
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the neighbourhood
a neighbourhood
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neighbourhood
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbourhoods
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 can impact the local
community
 and
also
 unnecessary traffic
congestion
 can happen in city area if everyone starts to do shopping in large shopping centres. Small
shops
 in our
neighbourhood
 help the local
community
 in several ways. Unlike the
Correct your spelling
supermarket
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super market
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supermarket
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 chains, these local shop owners know each and everyone in the
neighbourhood
.
Also
,
people
 in
local
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the local
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community
 trust these small businesses as
all
Correct pronoun usage
they all
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 lives in
same
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the same
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neighbourhood
. So, there is
very
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a very
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 low chance for customers to get cheated by business owners.
In addition
 to that, there are a lot of families purchasing their daily essential goods from local
shops
 without paying money immediately and pay them mostly at the end of the month. All of these are possible only in local
shops
.
On the other hand
, the trend of
people
 going to buy their all essential goods from a large shopping centre will increase traffic
congestion
 in
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 side.
Although
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
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 centre appears as a convenient place to buy all essential goods at one place, it may create unnecessary
congestion
 if
people
 start to go and buy one or two items which can be easily bought from local
shops
. In conclusion, local
shops
 help a lot to
local
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the local
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community
 and there is a good understanding and trust between
people
 in
local
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the local
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community
 and the local business owners so there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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less chance for cheating.
Also
, if local
shops
 disappear, these large shopping centres can create unnecessary traffic
congestion
 in
city
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the city
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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.
Submitted by pratheepap007 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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