Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

Some

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

successful are those who earn more

money

. Others argue that scientists and teachers gain more fame in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

since they directly involve in public services. In

this

essay

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,essay

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will

disscuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

both

view

Change to a plural noun

views

show examples

and support my ideas for

latter

Add an article

the latter

show examples

view. On the one hand, there are few

people

who

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that earning

money

means being rich or getting

seccess

Correct your spelling

success

access

Money

making

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can invest in many

business

Change to a plural noun

businesses

show examples

and can

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

job

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

which will help

people

for their financial advancement.

In addition

to that, when individuals

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

lots of

money

, more industry and commerce will be operated and that creates mass employment

This

could add value

Change preposition

show examples

economic

Add an article

the economic

show examples

growth of the nation.

For example

, steve jobs, who earned

money

and provided

wide

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a wide

show examples

range of jobs for skilled and

non skilled

Add a hyphen

non-skilled

show examples

manpower, so he is recognized as a successful person in the world.

On the other hand

Change the capitalization

show examples

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

people

such

scientist

Fix the agreement mistake

scientists

show examples

and teachers are real

heros

Correct your spelling

heroes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

, their job is critical and without whom there is no

dovelopment

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development

and consciousness in the world. Inventing new things and

enlightining

Correct your spelling

enlightening

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

achievement for the nation.

For instance

, Albert Einstein, who invented the

thoery

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theory

of relativity in the

filed

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field

show examples

of physics, which is an amazing achievement So, Giving new thing that shows the world new way of living and educating

people

about

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

adds more value in

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

of the country. In conclusion,

although

money

can play important role in

financial

Add an article

the financial

show examples

part of

people

's life, inventors and educationalists are the pillar of

society

and contribute their long

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

life time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

and energy in finding useful and

life saving

Add a hyphen

life-saving

show examples

formula

Submitted by laxmithapa2921 on Sun Sep 26 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people prefer to live in a house, while others fel that there are more advantages to living in an appartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?