Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Some
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
successful are those who earn more
money
. Others argue that scientists and teachers gain more fame in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
since they directly involve in public services. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
and support my ideas for
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
view. On the one hand, there are few
people
who
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that earning
money
means being rich or getting
seccess
Correct your spelling
success
access
.
Money
making
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
can invest in many
business
Change to a plural noun
businesses
show examples
and can
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
which will help
people
for their financial advancement.
In addition
to that, when individuals
has
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have
show examples
lots of
money
, more industry and commerce will be operated and that creates mass employment
This
could add value
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
growth of the nation.
For example
, steve jobs, who earned
money
and provided
wide
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a wide
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range of jobs for skilled and
non skilled
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non-skilled
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manpower, so he is recognized as a successful person in the world.
On the other hand
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
,
people
such
as
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
and teachers are real
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, their job is critical and without whom there is no
dovelopment
Correct your spelling
development
and consciousness in the world. Inventing new things and
enlightining
Correct your spelling
enlightening
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
achievement for the nation.
For instance
, Albert Einstein, who invented the
thoery
Correct your spelling
theory
of relativity in the
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
of physics, which is an amazing achievement So, Giving new thing that shows the world new way of living and educating
people
about
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
adds more value in
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of the country. In conclusion,
although
money
can play important role in
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
part of
people
's life, inventors and educationalists are the pillar of
society
and contribute their long
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
and energy in finding useful and
life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving
show examples
formula
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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