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Writing Samples
Band 4

Question -In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#-in #countries #amount #crime
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Crime is a deterrent to the economic and social growth of any country. In many
nations
Add a comma
,nations
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 illegal events are growing. In the upcoming
paragraph
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,paragraph
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 we will discuss the causes and
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to deal with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. There
are
Change the verb form
is
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 mainly 2
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 which
are
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is
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 responsible for criminal activity.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
government
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 has made
education
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 fees very nominal due to which our literacy rate has gone very high but there is no increase in the job market due to which many youngsters are unemployed and moving towards the path of crime, In a recent survey by Indian
government
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 literacy rate of India has reached 90 % as compare to unemployment which is
till
Correct your spelling
still
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 15 %.
Secondly
Linking Words
, our
education
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 system has not improved over decades and we are still not using
skill based
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skill-based
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education
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 which will help youth to start their own business after they finish their
education
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.
For Example
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Education
Correct article usage
the Education
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 system in India is
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as 2
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
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 ago which was developed by
British
Correct article usage
the British
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 to develop people for
transitional
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the transitional
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, with the boom of technology now information is freely available and you can connect with anyone anytime free of cost. People are using technology for a lot of criminal activity.
For example
Linking Words
 in one of the bomb blasts
in
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apply
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,
mumbai
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Mumbai
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 the accuser confesses that he learned to make bombs online with free online videos. To Deal with these issues,
Government
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 must work on to create more employment
opportunity
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opportunities
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 and introduce skill
base
Correct your spelling
based
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education
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 system after higher secondary school,
also
Linking Words
 promote technical
education
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 among youth which eventually will help them start their own business,
addition
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add
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 to
this
Linking Words
government
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 to prohibit usage of antisocial webpages. To recapitulate, the
government
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 needs to work on increasing employment and relaxing loan policy which will help youth in getting employment or start their own business
addition
Replace the word
added
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 to
this
Linking Words
 action must be taken to restrict webpages which provide anti-social information.
Submitted by durgawork2 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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