You have just returned from a conference and want to give a presentation to your colleagues.Write a letter to your manager about this.Include What the conference was about your plans for the presentation its impact on your company

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Dear Mr. Phillip, I am writing to inform you that, I am very much keen to share my experience which I have obtained from a conference recently. A local well-known corporate club organised the event and the main theme was personal development. I have learnt many efficient techniques for developing personal behaviour that I am thinking of exchanging with my office colleagues. As a part of my presentation plan, I am thinking about using the office conference room where a minimum of 30 people can attend together. All heads of the departments across the organisation can join since the number would be within 30.
Moreover
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, a detailed PowerPoint is being created
as well as
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some audio-visual materials are
also
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being collected. I am working to make the
overall
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plan and sharing it with you for your valuable suggestion and
also
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for your help
to forward
Change preposition
in forwarding
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it to the human resource department for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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official notice.
However
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, It is my expectation that the presentation will have a positive impact on the participants. There are many unknown facts around us which we neither discover nor worry about them either to use for our personal betterment.
That is
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why I will bring them in front and the techniques and tools I am going to share will not only help my coworker to upgrade their thoughts but
also
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will definitely increase their
overall
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performance. Thank you for considering my proposal and looking forward to getting a reply soon. Yours sincerely Shoaib

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider breaking the letter into more distinct paragraphs to enhance clarity, especially when discussing different points.
Grammar
Make sure to avoid unnecessary commas, such as the one after 'inform you that' in the opening sentence.
Task Achievement
It might be beneficial to explicitly state how your presentation aligns with the company’s goals or values to strengthen the connection.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter is professional and courteous, which is appropriate for the context.
Coherence and Cohesion
The explanation of the conference's theme and your plans for the presentation is clear and informative.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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