IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

When children turn 18 years old, they should leave home.

#children #years #home
In the modern world, many parents should be encouraging their young
people
 when they become older and moving to the
next
 chapter in their own
life
. The
first
 major reason is that leaving home can develop young
people
's money management skills. The advantages from
turning
Correct article usage
the turning
show examples
 point of their
life
 that are they can manage their own
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 and how using and Spending money. Another significant reason supporting
this
 view is that it develops their social skills
that
is provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 the opportunity to the young
people
 to live a
life
 on their own terms and make any decisions without the interference of their parents. So, when they can bearing a new
life
 and learn social skills
such
 as
clean
Replace the word
cleaning
show examples
 and do their laundry, learn
how to
Add a hyphen
how-to
show examples
 cooking and managing the pills. In conclusion, I think that when parents supporting
this
 choice, they make their young
people
 being responsible and confident to face the world outside.
Submitted by nada.aljohani.88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: