These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behavior

Nowadays the world is developing day by day . there is an increasing amount of

violence

broadcasted on television these days.which is having a negative effect on

children

attitudes

.as

children

are very good learners, they are

adapt

Change the form of the verb

adapted

show examples

to what they see immediately. when they are watching destruction and

violence

on the screen they are learning from it very rapidly which reflects in their behaviour.

Therefore

, I completely agree with the

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

that watching

violence

on television has a bad impact on

children

's behaviour. The environment of the house is the biggest impact of the place for learning positive

attitudes

for

children

for instance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they see parents or siblings are fighting or blaming for each

others

Change to a genitive case

other's

show examples

children

would learn from their parent's behaviours. their parent's characters are badly influenced for

children

's life .home is the place

children

could learn positive

attitudes

and good education background. when the parents behave positive

attitudes

in front of

children

they are never adapting negative behaviours.

On the other hand

,In recent

programmes are the biggest learning source for

children

when they telecasted bad content on

channels definitely

children

are getting things from it.

programmes could do turn

children

for good or bad behaviours.

For instance

,nowadays

shows and cartoons

contented

Add a missing verb

are contented

show examples

with

violence

and fighting scenes.before one week in Sri Lanka one of the

channel shows ,one school child was beaten his colleague because that child took his lunch box in the canteen .they can nicely solve

this

trouble through talking with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

.But nowadays

children

are fighting for every matter. these

attitudes

they are taking from

shows and fighting included cartoons . In conclusion ,negative changes in

children

attitudes

are due to the increasing amount of shows on

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

reflects what they see on

.the government and parents should need to decreased

this

changing

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

to the positive side .

Submitted by terushsachi2 on Mon Sep 27 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

desensitize
aggression
conflict resolution
instill fear
mental health
perception
imitation
aggressive behavior
empathy
unrealistic understanding
ramifications
inappropriate content
vulnerable
behavioral patterns
differentiate
fiction and reality
exposure to violence
negative impact
television violence
blur the lines

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming much wider, the rich richer, the poor even poorer. What problems can the situation cause and give the solution.
In the recent years, it is vital to understand that the distance between the wealthy class and the poor class is becoming much wider. The rich is becoming much richer, the poor is becoming poorer and poorer. This issue is quite a big problem in every countries nowadays, but it can be solved if the government take care of the people who are in difficulties.
6
band
Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Whether we like it or not, music is a substantially significant topic that has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks, nonetheless, some groups of individuals hold that music particularly helps people to decrease the level of stress and anxiety, which I vehemently agree with this assertion. To commence with, those who advocate the above-mentioned scenario, wholeheartedly argue that enormous reasons have been laid on this. First and foremost, nowadays with the rise of mindfulness and self-care matters, some types of music are considered as a tool to give hands to people who are struggling with a hectic lifestyle in order to make them calm during their daytimes such as non-verbal music with a subtle harmony. A single mother who works on a full-time basis could face a sharp dip in her level of stress hormones after listening to some piano tracks. Secondly, it is highly argued by some people that, indeed listening to music that has motivational lyrics would unconscious...
5
band
Some Children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
While it is widely claimed that younger generation spend hours daily on their smartphone nowadays, others argue that there are possible factors that contributed to this trend. Both cause of screentime of youngster and reasons why I believe it can lead a negative impact on them will be elaborated on in this essay.
5.5
band
Student should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people argue that students should spend money on the full fee for self-study while others think that the advantage of university education. for each person rather than society. From my perspective, I both agree and disagree with those ideas and will give the reason to tackle the problems.
6.5
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Some museums have an admission charge while some do not. In my opinion, the drawbacks of an entrance fee are eclipsed by its benefits in the sense that the income will be ploughed back into operation and development of the museums.

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming much wider, the rich richer, the poor even poorer. What problems can the situation cause and give the solution.

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some Children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Student should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?