These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behavior

Nowadays the world is developing day by day . there is an increasing amount of

violence

broadcasted on television these days.which is having a negative effect on

children

attitudes

.as

children

are very good learners, they are

adapt

Change the form of the verb

adapted

show examples

to what they see immediately. when they are watching destruction and

violence

on the screen they are learning from it very rapidly which reflects in their behaviour.

Therefore

, I completely agree with the

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

that watching

violence

on television has a bad impact on

children

's behaviour. The environment of the house is the biggest impact of the place for learning positive

attitudes

for

children

for instance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they see parents or siblings are fighting or blaming for each

others

Change to a genitive case

other's

show examples

children

would learn from their parent's behaviours. their parent's characters are badly influenced for

children

's life .home is the place

children

could learn positive

attitudes

and good education background. when the parents behave positive

attitudes

in front of

children

they are never adapting negative behaviours.

On the other hand

,In recent

programmes are the biggest learning source for

children

when they telecasted bad content on

channels definitely

children

are getting things from it.

programmes could do turn

children

for good or bad behaviours.

For instance

,nowadays

shows and cartoons

contented

Add a missing verb

are contented

show examples

with

violence

and fighting scenes.before one week in Sri Lanka one of the

channel shows ,one school child was beaten his colleague because that child took his lunch box in the canteen .they can nicely solve

this

trouble through talking with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

.But nowadays

children

are fighting for every matter. these

attitudes

they are taking from

shows and fighting included cartoons . In conclusion ,negative changes in

children

attitudes

are due to the increasing amount of shows on

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

reflects what they see on

.the government and parents should need to decreased

this

changing

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

to the positive side .

Submitted by terushsachi2 on Mon Sep 27 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

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I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

312 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. What extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safe is to let the driver test each year. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government responsibility. Other belive that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both view and give your own opinions.

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?