IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You organised a 90th birthday party in a hotel for a relative. Many elderly guests attended this party which of grand success. Write a letter to thank the hotel manager. In your letter, Give details of party the reasons why party was successful Mention a staff member who helped you a lot

#birthday #party #hotel #guests #success #manager #staff #member
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I am really pleased with your service provided at my
uncle
's 90th birthday
party
. I loved the white and pink theme of the
party
 and made it extraordinary with the tulip flower decoration around the pillars .
Apart from
this
 , your team arranged comfortable seating for seniors and the menu included different variety of foods on the basis of the elder's choice.
Additionally
, the
party
 was successful because your staff surprised my
uncle
 with his favourite music playlist and he danced on the floor with his friends. Everyone was smiling
while
 listening to music and eating amazing food.
Also
 , I would like to talk about one of your staff members named Jerry , he helped me a lot to find me a perfect cake for his birthday . My
uncle
as well as
 all guest members found that cake delicious and received positive feedback about it.
Overall
 , I liked the management of the team members and want to appreciate all your hard work done at my
uncle
's birthday
party
. I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Roopkamal Kaur.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in your writing style by avoiding unnecessary spaces, for example, avoid spaces before commas and periods.
coherence cohesion
Consider making the paragraphs more concise and focused to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
The letter effectively covers all the required points: details of the party, reasons for its success, and mention of a helpful staff member.
task achievement
The writing tone is suitable and conveys gratitude appropriately.
coherence cohesion
The starting greeting and closing of the letter are appropriately formal.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!