Some people think that certain criminals should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #community #work #bar

Though

crime

is increasing

day

fortunately

Add the comma(s)

,fortunately

show examples

there are various ways to arrest the rise of it. Few feel pro-bono community

work

can replace the jail term.

However

Change the capitalization

show examples

am of opinion that the extent of

crime

should be taken into account while deciding the punishment. Not only

this

essay will discuss the benefits of putting people behind the bar, but

also

it will be compared with community

work

such

cases.

First

and foremost, there are several benefits of doing social

work

for criminals. It helps them to contribute to the betterment of society and makes them feel part of it.

As a result

, they do not feel alienated.

Additionally

, they feel that their soul is getting cleansed while performing social

work

For example

, those involved in petty crimes

such

as stealing from grocery shops can be asked to teach children.

This

will lead them to realise their past behaviours.

Hence

, inclusiveness and feeling good about social

work

can make drastic changes in the attitude of criminals.

On the other hand

, the jail term gives people room and time to reflect on their behaviour and brings disciplines in life.

This

is very much needed for those who are not masters of their

day

activities and take law in hand as they are not able to control either their greed or their senses. At the same time, social

work

is not the sole remedy for heinous crimes

such

as murder or genocide.

Consequently

, Proportional punishment is needed in

such

cases.

Hence

, I feel that pro-bono social

work

is not the magic bullet and horses for the course's approach is the need of the hour.

Thus

, punishment should be commensurate to the

crime

. To summarise, though there are several benefits of unpaid community

work

to be done by those involved in

crime

, the solution needs to be restricted for petty crimes and that can not be universal in nature.

Submitted by amreshcg on Mon Sep 27 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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