Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #towns #malls

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Many

people

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believe that there should be more public

parks

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and

sports

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facilities built in new towns

instead

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of shopping malls. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

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point of view for the undeniable advantages

such

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as improving

health

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and enlarging the community.

First

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of all, it is hard to ignore the benefits that public

parks

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and places for

sports

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can bring to

people

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’s

health

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Parks

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are usually built with a lot of benches, trees, and other plants;

therefore

Linking Words

, the residents can easily get access to the fresh air of nature while relaxing on the benches or under the trees

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and taking a walk, as well.

This

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obviously provides

people

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with the chance of doing light exercise to gain better

health

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mentally and physically with totally free of charge.

Furthermore

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sports

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facilities are better choices for

people

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who want to have a good quality of

sports

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training. Despite some extra fees, those places have functional equipment and professional trainers, which can help

people

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experience appropriate ways to do exercise.

This

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is likely to result in prolonging the residents’ life span with healthier lifestyles.

Additionally

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, even though building shopping malls are beneficial in some ways, its advantage cannot outweigh the positive aspects of having more public

parks

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and

sports

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supplies. While most

people

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go to malls for shopping only and it seems like they have few interactions with different

people

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for other purposes,

people

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who choose to spend time in

parks

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and sport places tend to be more open and willing to enlarge their circle of acquaintances. In the

parks

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, local

people

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usually have a habit of gathering and sharing small talks while relaxing or taking a walk.

This

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helps them get to know each other easily and have a better understanding of their neighbourhoods.

Similarly

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people

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going to gyms or other sport training centres can make friends easily because of their common hobbies in sport and help each other improve in

health

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and training. In conclusion, I wholly support the idea of constructing more public

parks

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and

sports

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facilities because they obviously bring high opportunities for

people

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to gain better

health

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Moreover

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this

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also

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helps strengthen community bonding by connecting

people

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together.

Submitted by khanh532000cm on Mon Sep 27 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

363 words

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Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that by killing someone society is also making a crime, so, that why death penalty should be forbidden. Life in prison would be a better punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the country side is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative development.