IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in someway.why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

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Currently, a lot of enterprises try to highlight their manufacturing items as new in the different paths by using
advertisements
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.
Therefore
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, they can win
this
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 competitive business industry and they can attract their consumers immediately.
However
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, there have numerous negative impacts in which they have to allocate extra money to update their system from time to time and consumers are struggling to select their regular
products
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 easily.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe there have a plethora of pros overweight coins.
To begin
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 with, at present, businessmen spend extremely competitive business lives.
Hence
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, they want to emphasise their
products
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 among other manufacturers. And
also
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, people always find new innovations, because they fall in curiosity and they attract to productions which are changing
products
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 name, cover, flavours, size and price. To illustrates that, according to the survey conducted by the worlds traders organization, it has been found that 80% of buyers persuade to take new
products
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 by broadcasting
advertisements
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 through different media.
However
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, factories changed their identity frequently, after that buyers could not find their daily consumption utilities clearly. In
this
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 scenario, they have to try alternatives.
Moreover
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, enterprises have to dedicate huge money to changing their
products
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 and publishing. Nowadays, in that society, they do not concern their attention with these
advertisements
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 .
Hence
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, they destroy their income for unnecessary tasks.
For example
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, if some company invest their money in creating new
products
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 and publishing via
advertisements
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 they are becoming bankruptcy. In conclusion,
advertisements
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 are supported for many businessmen to convert their
products
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 as new in various ways.
Therefore
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, they can ripe benefits
such
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 as they can achieve their competitive business career and they can motivate their consumers tremendously.
However
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, they want to spend more financial assets to update their
products
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 with freshness.
Therefore
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, I completely agree the advertising may help to promote their brand new
products
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 significantly.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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