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Writing Samples
Band 6

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives?

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Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time pass, the relationship between
parents
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 and children has changed as kids are growing up, and adults are getting older. In
this
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 essay, I will deliberate the
role
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 of
parents
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 that should act for their offspring and provide my overview according to my own experience.
First
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 of all,
although
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 pupils do not need the special
cares
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care
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such
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 as
spoon feeding
Add a hyphen
spoon-feeding
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, sending to school, and convincing them to sleep, when they are mature,
parents
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 can act as the
role
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 model for them.
For example
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, my father worked as a civil servant, and he had never committed any
corruptions
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corruption
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 in his record. Due to
this
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, after I graduated from a university, I applied for working as a government officer because I have my father as a
role
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 model, and I pledge myself not to do any illegal
corruptions
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corruption
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 at all.
Therefore
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, adults have a significant influence on
an
Correct article usage
the
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 opinion of kids.
Moreover
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,
parents
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 can be an
advisor
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 for their youngsters as they have experienced the things that children will face when they become mature.
For instance
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,
parents
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 can give
an
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apply
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advice for
applying
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forapplying
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 a university and job, socializing, building
family
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a family
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 and even having a girlfriend. From my experience, my mother was the best
advisor
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 for planing the
first
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 date for me, which she urged me to take her to dinner, and supported money for the date. For
this
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 reason,
Add an article
a parent
the parent
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parent
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parents
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 can act as the best
advisor
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, who can give
the
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apply
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invaluable suggestion based on a perspective of an adult. In conclusion, when the time has changed, the
role
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 of
parents
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 in taking care of their children has
also
Linking Words
 been different associated with kids' ages.
However
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,
parents
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 still significantly dictate
offsprings
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offspring
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 by acting as a
role
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model
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models
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 for living and being the best
advisor
Use synonyms
 for them when they have an obstacle and constraint.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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