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Writing Samples
Band 6

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives?

#time #children #relationship #parents #changes #role #adult #children’s #lives
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Since
the
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apply
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time pass, the relationship between
parents
 and children has changed as kids are growing up, and adults are getting older. In
this
 essay, I will deliberate the
role
 of
parents
 that should act for their offspring and provide my overview according to my own experience.
First
 of all,
although
 pupils do not need the special
cares
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care
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such
 as
spoon feeding
Add a hyphen
spoon-feeding
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, sending to school, and convincing them to sleep, when they are mature,
parents
 can act as the
role
 model for them.
For example
, my father worked as a civil servant, and he had never committed any
corruptions
Fix the agreement mistake
corruption
show examples
 in his record. Due to
this
, after I graduated from a university, I applied for working as a government officer because I have my father as a
role
 model, and I pledge myself not to do any illegal
corruptions
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corruption
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 at all.
Therefore
, adults have a significant influence on
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opinion of kids.
Moreover
,
parents
 can be an
advisor
 for their youngsters as they have experienced the things that children will face when they become mature.
For instance
,
parents
 can give
an
Correct article usage
apply
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advice for
applying
Add the preposition
forapplying
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 a university and job, socializing, building
family
Correct article usage
a family
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 and even having a girlfriend. From my experience, my mother was the best
advisor
 for planing the
first
 date for me, which she urged me to take her to dinner, and supported money for the date. For
this
 reason,
Add an article
a parent
the parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 can act as the best
advisor
, who can give
the
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apply
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invaluable suggestion based on a perspective of an adult. In conclusion, when the time has changed, the
role
 of
parents
 in taking care of their children has
also
 been different associated with kids' ages.
However
,
parents
 still significantly dictate
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 by acting as a
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for living and being the best
advisor
 for them when they have an obstacle and constraint.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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