It was anticipated that as technology advanced, individuals would have far more free time in the twenty-first century than they did in the previous one. How much of this prediction has materialized?

As
technology
has advanced, there was an anticipation that individuals would experience an increase in free
time
in the twenty-first century compared to the previous one.
However
, the realization of
this
prediction has
also
become the source of tremendous controversy. in
this
essay, I would like to shed light on
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the impact of technological advancements on free
time
in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, technological progress has undoubtedly led to increased efficiencies and
time
-saving conveniences in various aspects of life. Automation, digitalization, and the advent of smart technologies have transformed the way people work, communicate, and access information. Tasks that previously required considerable
time
and effort can now be completed rapidly and with minimal manual intervention.
this
is because machines have superseded humans in several industries.
For instance
, the advent of automatic transmission has accelerated the development of self-driving cars.
Furthermore
, the digital age has brought about unprecedented levels of convenience and accessibility than ever before. The rise of online services, e-commerce, and digital payment systems has streamlined numerous everyday activities,
such
as shopping, banking, and obtaining information.
this
caused a great shift in people's lives
such
as
time
-saving and simplifying transactions.
on the other hand
, it is essential to recognize the complexities surrounding the relationship between
technology
and free
time
. The prevalence of digital devices and online platforms has created a culture of constant connectivity and information overload.
Moreover
, the proliferation of digital entertainment options and social media has transformed the nature of leisure activities.
While
technology
has provided access to a wide array of entertainment and leisure pursuits, it has
also
introduced potential distractions that can consume significant amounts of
time
. In conclusion,
while
technological advancements have undeniably introduced efficiencies and
time
-saving conveniences in various aspects of life, the prediction of a substantial increase in free
time
for individuals in the twenty-first century compared to the previous one is a complex and multifaceted issue. The impact of
technology
on free
time
is shaped by a complex interplay of factors, including the evolving nature of work, communication, and leisure activities in the digital age.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To achieve higher scores, develop each argument in greater depth. You could also clarify the relationship between different points made regarding technological advancements and their impact on free time.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth progression of ideas, particularly between paragraphs. Using linking words and phrases can help to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your claims, as this can strengthen your arguments and ensure that every point is well-evidenced.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps give the essay a clear structure.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt effectively and provides an overall response to the question posed.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay are generally clear and the points flow logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: