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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Environmental problems are becoming a global issue. Environmental problems are counter-challenging the quality of life people enjoy in modern advanced societies. Do you think that environment problems will produce better results if it is addressed globally or it should be addressed by individual countries?

#quality #life #people #societies #environment #results #countries
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The issue of climate change and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 is indeed a major concern in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years. As one of the emerging countries, Indonesia has been undergoing rapid development in business and better infrastructure systems.
Consequently
,
this
 swift evolution comes with another issue of pollution.
This
 is substantiated by the fact that CO2 emissions as an indicator of environmental damage which continue to increase from year to year. Data from International
Energy
 Agency shows that the
buildings
 and
construction
 sector accounted for 39% of
energy
 and process-related carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions in 2018.
As a result
, the issue of green building has been discussed for more than three decades which lately
construction
 professionals
felt
Add a missing verb
have felt
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 the need to reduce the
construction
 industry’s negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 the environment. In Indonesia
for example
, which
located
Add a missing verb
is located
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 in the tropical and temperate regions, the building sector is the largest consumer of
energy
 users for the purposes of room conditioning.
However
, providing that the green building concept is implemented accurately, the immediate benefit will reduce
energy
 consumption and negative impact on the environment. Reports from the USGBC (United States Green Building Council) stated that the implementation of the green concept in
buildings
 would save operational
energy
 use by an average of 28% of conventional
buildings
, not including savings on the use of renewable
energy
. Another report from the BCA (Building
Construction
 Authority) Singapore entitled ‘Leading the Way for Green
Buildings
 in the Tropics’ in 2015 states that the implementation of the green concept in
buildings
 can save
energy
 consumption between 30% to 80% by utilizing the available current technology.
Submitted by edobi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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