IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantage of young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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In certain countries, in the middle of a high
school
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 and
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
Use synonyms
, teenagers are advised to either work or travel.
This
Linking Words
 essay will state the benefits and drawbacks of working or travelling by students after secondary
school
Use synonyms
 and before initiating their
college
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. By either working or travelling prior to
college
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 help students understand their future goal but
on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
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 most of the companies do not hand over the project to them rather keep them under shadow which does not give in-depth knowledge of any assignment. One commonly cited advantage of having industrial experience
post high
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post-high
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school
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 is that youngsters get to have a glimpse of the working of a company.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can logically decide their future goal based on their practical knowledge which can be achieved in any organisation rather than the theoretical knowledge obtained from
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, an undergraduate might wants to become an engineer but is unable to cope up with the competitive environment of the organisation might rethink
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his decisions prior
selecting
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to selecting
show examples
 any major in his
college
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 and
this
Linking Words
 is possible only after he has experienced working in any firm.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by travelling to different places and by being away from their families, young people get to shoulder their responsibilities which helps them to inculcate many worldly traits which are required in long run. Despite
this
Linking Words
, there are multiple cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working after high
school
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. One of them is that companies do not
handover
Correct your spelling
hand over
show examples
 the working projects to the teenagers and keep them under
shadow
Add an article
the shadow
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 of someone and
hence
Linking Words
 freshers do not get a chance to work with the clients and a relevant experience cannot be gained. In conclusion, as a coin has two sides
similarly
Linking Words
 there are both merits and demerits and of being employed succeeding high
school
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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