In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

A high number of professional sports
players
are using
substances
that are illegal, to improve their performance. The primary cause of
this
phenomenon is increased competition in their field and game pressure, and the most viable solutions are awareness camping of health issues and introducing a strong policy. The
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
of prohibited things by athletes
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been increasing rapidly in professional games.
This
is to say that their mind has been shaped in a way that they only seek the ways which will take them to the trophy
due to
increased competition in their
carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
show examples
.
This
results in a catastrophic outcome of losing their normal lifestyle.
Secondly
, pressuring the
players
for a desirable result by their coach is being practised for so long.
This
belief is deeply rooted in the sports field, which will only result in losing the gamer’s ability to perform in a game.
For instance
, recently in a state karate championship in Nepal, it was evidenced that one of the strong
players
collapsed
while
playing
due to
the huge amount of pressure. One of the most effective solutions to
this
cause is to aware
players
and coaches that how bad it is for
gamer’s
Fix the agreement mistake
gamers’
show examples
health. They need to realize that it is just a game, and they don’t need to consume prohibited
substances
to be on the top. Another solution to
this
cause is to introduce strong laws or policies so that
players
will be scared to use
substances
. Doing so will make them
prepare
Wrong verb form
prepared
show examples
that they might end up being permanently eliminated.
For example
, there was a case in previous Olympics that a player was banned
to play
Change preposition
from playing
show examples
series
Correct article usage
a series
show examples
of games
due to
consuming illegal
substances
, which set an example to other participants not to do so. In conclusion, an increased trend of improving performance by using prohibited things by professional athletics
players
is caused by growing competition in sports and pressure
due to
games,
however
, it can be mitigated
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
raising awareness of health problems and making strong laws.
Submitted by Raksha on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the two main causes and the two main solutions that will be discussed in the essay.
task response
The essay lacks a clear conclusion summarizing the key points presented in the body paragraphs. Ensure that the conclusion restates the main causes and solutions and provides a final thought.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anti-doping regulations
  • Detection methods
  • Ban substances
  • Ethical issues
  • Health risks
  • Fair play
  • Sportsmanship
  • Stakes
  • Pressure to succeed
  • Enforcement
  • Awareness programs
  • Testing frequency
  • Entourage
  • Science advancement
  • Financial gains
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