Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #money #factors #happiness

It is thought by some that

money

plays a major role in bringing

happiness

. In my opinion, people can be happier even with very

less

Correct quantifier usage

little

show examples

money

Money

can never buy

happiness

, there are many other ingredients required for a happy

life

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

many people believe that

money

is the main key to lead a happy

life

, people can be happy even without much of it.

For instance

, compare the developing and developed countries, most Westerners would agree that developing countries are much happier than the latter. They have stronger family relations and they enjoy the small joys in

life

. They are much more satisfied and content with their

life

. There are many essential factors to lead a happy

life

. One key factor could be one's job and the self-satisfaction one can get from it.

For example

, a doctor who works for underdeveloping countries, their pay might be very less yet they are happy that their skills and education has been of some use to humanity. So

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

can add certain joy to

life

as well.

Finally

, another ingredient to

happiness

is family and friends. A man might have all the luxury in the world, but if he is alone, none of it is

worth

Correct pronoun usage

itworth

show examples

. If you have a family that loves and cares for you

then

even if there is not much

money

in hand you will still be happy.

Similarly

, if you have true friends who will stand with you through thick and thin,

then

no matter what your bank balance is you will remain happy throughout

life

. In conclusion,

money

does not

guarentee

Correct your spelling

guarantee

happiness

in anyone's

life

, it is the small joys that you receive through work and your friends and family that makes a man happy for his entire

life

Submitted by jubee.varghese on Thu Sep 30 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The crime rate among teenager has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons with this increase and suggest solutions.

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to a friend to ask him/her to develop a website for your business. In your letter: Give a brief description of the business Mention what you’d like to be there on the website Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.