Students should not be allowed to use mobile phones at school. Do you agree or disagree with this view

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It is true that using technological developments
such
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as mobile phones has become increasingly common among people these days . Some people argue that using
this
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gadget should be banned at school . In my opinion , I completely agree with
this
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view and believe that using smartphones
while
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studying can engender several obvious harmful consequences to students.
Firstly
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, the excessive usage of
this
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technological device tends to decrease the opportunities for social interaction and physical activities during recess and
lunchtimes
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lunchtime
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. When scholars have some free time , they tend to entertain themselves with smartphones which provide many ways of amusement
such
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as chatting with friends or playing video games and
then
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they will be more isolated and introverted .
Also
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, rather than engaging in leisure activities at schools
such
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as
sport
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sports
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or
music
Add a comma
music,
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they will prefer to spend their free time only on
this
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device .
Thus
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, it would be better for them to not use
this
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development at school.
Secondly
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, using phones in the classroom can affect negatively the performance of scholars .
In other words
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, children are not mature enough to use
this
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device to help them in their studies so they spend time using social media or texting friends rather than focusing on courses and with the teacher .
As a result
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, their concentration in the classroom decreases and they become less focused on what the teacher explains . All these reasons may lead to a decline in their achievement .
For example
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, many researchers demonstrate that the removal of phones from classrooms can lead to an improvement in student grades .
That is
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why
this
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gadget should not be allowed to children
while
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studying . In conclusion , despite
that smartphones
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that smartphone
those smartphones
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can be helpful for children in some cases , I strongly believe that the excessive usage of
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this gadget
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these gadgets
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at school remains an unfavourable habit because it tends to decrease social interaction and physical activities and reduce
students
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students'
student's
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achievement .
Submitted by elgalalafatimazahra on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure variety in sentence structure to enhance flow.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly presents the writer's viewpoint and establishes the topic.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured, with a logical flow of ideas.
supported main points
Each main point is explained with clarity and relevant reasoning.
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