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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people are copying celebrities from magazines and on TV. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a good idea to copy celebrities?

#people #celebrities #magazines #tv #it’s #idea #copy
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It is well known that
stars
 have a vibrant influence on the mind of humanity. Repeating the interesting persons on the fashion magazines and trendy websites has become popular. It happens due to the radical desire to be like their idols.
However
, copying them can lead to terrible consequences like the destruction of individuals and losing themselves in the pursuit of a repetition of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous
people
. After finding an idol in the image of a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 star, a music star or a model business, a human start to look for new patterns of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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.
People
, especially youngsters, still do not realize themselves, their own style and their way of self-expression.
Moreover
, a whole team of stylists, designers
is
Change the verb form
are
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 working on the appearance of celebrities. For
this
 reason, they turn into copies of
stars
, teenagers start repeating everything they do,
for example
, their habits,
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 words and even taste in clothes. It is an obvious fact that each person is unique in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
 own way. Despite
this
,
people
 repeating after the celebrities, but they do not even understand that emulating of popular
people
 leads to the losing themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because humans will absorb all their qualities and it does not matter whether they are good or bad. The point is that
people
 will start to lose their own original version of themselves. In conclusion, having mulled over
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 information and deliberating all the facts, it can be
deducted
Correct your spelling
deduced
show examples
 that, the celebrity actions and their choice of clothes have a crucial impact on the community.
This
 repeating after the
stars
 have more disadvantages
then
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than
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 its benefits to the society. Doing all things that the
stars
 do is an acceptable idea for many,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is one of the main reasons why humans lose their own identity.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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