IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Science is advanced so fast that it can now make it possible for people to live 100 years or even 200 years. Some people think it is beneficial, while others think it will cause problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#science #people #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Pace
Add an article
The pace
show examples
 of advancement in science is very fast, which
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
 enable
people
Use synonyms
 to live
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 200
years
Use synonyms
. Certain
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is benevolent for mankind,
however
Linking Words
, others argue that it can create several issues in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
discusss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both views and support my ideas for the former view. On the one hand,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 advocate that it is advantageous for
humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human beings
human being
 who are intelligent can
live
Add the particle
tolive
show examples
 prolong
life
Use synonyms
 and give benefit
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the nation and citizens.
For example
Linking Words
, Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton, if
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had lived for
Add an article
a
show examples
longer time, the promotion of the physics sector could have been boomed.
Linking Words
Likewise
Add a comma
,Likewise
show examples
 many saints and motivators live for 200
years
Use synonyms
 and the positivity and harmony would have never been ended ,and no world war would have been
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
boom
Add an article
the boom
a boom
show examples
 in science provided an opportunity to increase
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
life
Use synonyms
 span.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, growth in
scintific
Correct your spelling
scientific
 technique that has
also
Linking Words
 improved
life
Use synonyms
 span of individuals who are involved in wrong work
such
Linking Words
 as criminals, kidnappers, thieves and many other negative thinkers as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by these
inventions
Add a comma
,inventions
show examples
 many negativity can grow in society.
This
Linking Words
 has provided a chance to those whose intention is to harm others, envy ,take revenge and promote negativity will be increased.
For instance
Linking Words
,if
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 bad intention can live for 200
years
Use synonyms
, they can be dangerous for other persons as well as for the nations for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 period of time. In conclusion, in my opinion, it is one of the best scientific
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
 that let
people
Use synonyms
 live for many
years
Use synonyms
 of their desired
life
Use synonyms
 and
intelligent
Add an article
the intelligent
show examples
 group could give many inventions and
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
 for the world.
Submitted by laxmithapa2921 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: