Many people claim that all zoos should be closed, while others claim that zoos have a positive impact. Discuss both views and gove your opinion.

In the past few decades, there has been a profound increase in the number of individuals questioning the necessity of
zoos
. On one side of the spectrum, there are those who believe that keeping
animals
in the zoo has contributed to our understanding of the animal kingdom.
However
, others, including myself, strongly oppose
this
view and
instead
believe that a zoo is merely a place of animal cruelty.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that
zoos
have allowed for scientific advancement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
animal studies and
education
.
For instance
, scientists have been able to document endangered snow leopard mating and feeding behaviours, which later
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to the development of protection programmes.
For
this
reason, it is clearly evident that keeping
animals
in an enclosure is highly valuable to animal studies, as
this
can contribute to our
knowledge
as well as
animal conservation. What is more, the general consensus amongst educators is that
zoos
are an exceptional place for children to gain exposure and an understanding of rare and exotic animal species,
otherwise
they would only see these precious creatures in textbooks and on TV.
This
being the case, it is not unreasonable to assume that if
zoos
were to close, our
knowledge
of wild
animals
would be limited and our children’s valuable
education
would be significantly harmed.
Nonetheless
, despite the fact that
zoos
can provide crucial
knowledge
and
education
on
animals
, there is a growing body of evidence to suggest that animal cruelty stemming from these enclosures is a significant issue that cannot be overlooked. To illustrate
this
point, two pandas gifted from China to Germany both died in 2008
due to
their maladaptation to the new zoo.
Therefore
, it is undeniable that forcing
animals
to live in an unnatural habitat is a form of torture, providing no benefit nor protection to an already endangered species.
Furthermore
, even if these
animals
were to survive, keeping
animals
in
cavity
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cavities
show examples
is a complete disregard
of
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for
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animal welfare and often leads to depression and self-harming behaviour in these creatures. With
this
in mind, there is no doubt that if
zoos
continue to stay open, more
animals
will suffer and precious lives will be lost, merely in the name of science.
To conclude
from the aforementioned discussion, whilst some are under the impression that
zoos
provide valuable
knowledge
and
education
in animal studies, others, myself included, strongly believe that these institutions are built on the cruelty and sacrifice of
animals
in
cavity
Fix the agreement mistake
cavities
show examples
. From my perspective, I am of the fierce belief that
animals
deserve the same rights as humans and must have an undisturbed life in their own habitats.
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coherence
Consider using varied sentence structures to enhance readability and interest. Although the essay is cohesive, adding more transitional phrases between some of the ideas could improve flow.
task response
Ensure that your arguments for each viewpoint are balanced in length and depth. This will help to present a more impartial discussion before arriving at your own opinion.
structure
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a well-rounded conclusion.
task response
Ideas are clearly presented and logically flow from one point to the next. The use of specific examples, like the pandas in Germany, strengthens the argument.
language
The language used is sophisticated and largely error-free, demonstrating a strong command of English.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Endangered species
  • Breeding programs
  • Wildlife conservation
  • Educational opportunities
  • Animal welfare
  • Natural habitats
  • Ethical considerations
  • Human entertainment
  • Economic benefits
  • Tourism revenue
  • Veterinary care
  • Conservation techniques
  • Animal behavior
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