People spend too much time on the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
spending most of their
time
on the
internet
.
Although
,
people
also
give
time
to other works;
however
, I entirely agree with
this
statement and will discuss my
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, advanced technology
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
life easier
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
every person.
Firstly
, to connect with friends and relatives,
people
stay active on social media to stay in touch with friends and relatives, because it saves their
time
and energy as compared to meet them personally.
Secondly
,
network
Correct article usage
a network
show examples
is
convenient
Add an article
a convenient
show examples
way to solve the problem, so
people
clear all their doubts by using technology, in order to, resolve the problems.
Also
,
people
become addicted to
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
of the
internet
, so it is
the
Change the word
their
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
past
Correct your spelling
pastime
show examples
time
as well and they share their pictures over there to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comments.
Furthermore
,
Add an article
the
show examples
network has become an indispensable part of life, we cannot think
our
Change preposition
about our
show examples
life without the
internet
. Nowadays, online jobs
become
Add a missing verb
have become
show examples
more popular among youngsters from the comfort of their home, so they spend
time
on the
internet
to complete
their
Correct the word
theirs
show examples
.
In addition
to
this
, advanced technology
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
provides a lot of data about the different modules, which make study
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
for the pupils.
For instance
, the Theme
time
has been shown that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
in 2016 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
collected data from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
e-commerce to prepare their projects and they got grade A, owing to different material. To conclude, while
people
have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
tasks to complete
such
as household chores and upbringing children, yet, I agreed that
people
are busy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
serving the
internet
.
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive
  • negatively affects
  • physical and mental health
  • decreased productivity
  • hinders personal growth
  • internet addiction
  • essential
  • numerous benefits
  • productive
  • educational
  • wisely
  • individual choice
  • responsibility
  • manage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: