IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Cultivating good habits in
children
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 is a prime motive for most
parents
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. There is a strong belief that upbringing
kids
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 with discipline and good manners can transform them to be independent and confident in handling life events.
However
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,
this
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 perception may not be unique across the
parents
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. Let me discuss both sides of the argument and share my opinion. In my opinion,
children
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 should definitely have the liberty to make their own
decisions
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;
however
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, since they are too young to understand what is good or bad for them,
parents
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 should help them make the right
decisions
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. Traditionally,
parents
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 play a huge role in nurturing their
kids
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 with the best of ethics and making them learn good things including how to behave and perform in society.
This
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 can turn them into good and responsible citizens of the society who
first
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 prioritize their family, self than society, in general.
For example
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, as a ,boy I would prefer to spend time with video games than cleaning a street in a volunteer role. On the other side, few
parents
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 insist and do not encourage
kids
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 to be decisive, at least not on all matters.
For example
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,
kids
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 are not allowed to decide on which school they need to join.
Parents
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 control few
decisions
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 which help to benefit their
kids
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. No parent in the world would like to see their
kids
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 as a failure owing self
decisions
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. To conclude, both
parents
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 and their
children
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 should consult each other when making a decision.
This
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 can benefit the wisdom of
parents
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. I believe that even though
children
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 should be allowed to make their own choices,
parents
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 should teach them to respect the feelings of others;
otherwise
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, they may end up becoming selfish.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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