IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays many people prefer to use their own cars to commute rather than buses and trains. Why do you think this is happening? What can the government do to change it?

#people #cars #buses #trains #government #change
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern and permanently changing world, owning a car is not only a symbol of social status but rather more a necessity for
people
Use synonyms
 who want to be at work and at home on time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the existing
problems
Use synonyms
 with public
transport
Use synonyms
 don’t let the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 refuse to commute by cars. I will try to unveil some of these
problems
Use synonyms
 in my essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several predominant factors forcing
people
Use synonyms
 to prefer their own conveyance rather than buses and trains.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, many
people
Use synonyms
 find it convenient and comfortable to commute with their families as compared to public transit. As it often happens, the buses are too overcrowded during peak hours.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most buses are equipped with diesel engines and it is uncomfortable for passengers to feel
traffic
Use synonyms
 fumes inside when the bus is standing with a working engine, particularly for persons who have chronic diseases and children.
Besides
Linking Words
, the journey by car is much more flexible and free than to other types of
transport
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can stop and take breaks at any place as well as at any point of time suitable to them.
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, humanity has already faced congested
traffic
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
 in the megalopolises. Nowadays, entry into the town centre is prohibited for cars in many big cities due to
traffic
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
.
Traffic
Use synonyms
 jams became a day-to-day problem for
people
Use synonyms
 living in urban areas. Solving these issues is impossible without developing and modernising the public
transport
Use synonyms
 network.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the government should create conditions for widespread
such
Linking Words
 modes of individual
transport
Use synonyms
 as bicycles and electric scooters. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to travel by their own car ,for now, patterns of urban development more likely will lead to expulsion the cars out from the cities in the near future.
Submitted by pauleasy666 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: