IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many museum charges for admission while others are free. Do you think advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museum #charges #admission #people #museums
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The
museum
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 is a great source of
knowledge
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 in societies.Many
museums
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 charge a hefty
amount
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 of money as an entrance fee whereas, others do not.I believe it is advantageous to charge a nominal
amount
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 to enter the
museum
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 as it can be beneficial for a
country
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 to generate revenue and might help an individual to broaden their horizon.
To begin
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 with, Many tourists visit a particular
country
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 to gain
knowledge
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 about its past and
museums
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 are the best place to display a
country
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's history ergo,Charging a minimal
amount
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 of money from visitors might help the government to raise funds to invest in the development of the nation.
For example
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,Miracle garden in Dubai charges DH 40 as an entry fee,which is a considerate
amount
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. Since the garden is accessible to the general public for limited months,Tourism travel brims in Dubai during those months.
Similarly
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,Charging a nominal
amount
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 to enter
museums
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 would attract numerous tourists which will benefit a
country
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's economy.
Secondly
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,youngsters learn from their ancestors.Educational Institutes represent exhibits that tell a story about our ancestors. Youngsters can acquire
knowledge
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 about their culture and learn from a mistake that their ancestors might have made which will give them the
knowledge
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 to perform work adequately by eliminating that one cause of the problem which made their role models fail.
For example
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, the Science
museum
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 contains information on failed outcomes, upon visiting the
museum
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 one may realise the cons of the reaction and avoid repeating it.
Therefore
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,
museums
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 help an individual to expand his thinking capabilities. In conclusion, Charging an admission
amount
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that is
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 pocket friendly is advantageous for the government and to the general public.
Submitted by simvirdi15 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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