IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Many people today are choosing to live and work in another country after graduating from university in their home country. Why is this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #work #country #university #home
Recent
Correct article usage
The recent
show examples
 map of the Grange park has been illustrated by the given diagrams as compares to the 1920’s blueprint, which is for the inhabitants. Overall, there are a number of changes
took
Correct pronoun usage
that took
show examples
 place in the current planning, along with new constructions and demolishes of some old features. The north and south entrances remain unchanged, but
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 underground entrance with
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 parking facility has been displayed in the extreme
south-east
Correct your spelling
southeast
show examples
 corner. In fact, at
this
 location glasshouse have
replaced
Add a missing verb
been replaced
show examples
 with a water reservoir. On the
north-east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
 section, a pond having aquatic plants have
altered
Add a missing verb
been altered
show examples
 with a play area for the children. Whereas, on the left side, a cafe has been built up in place of
rose
Add an article
the rose
a rose
show examples
 garden. In the middle part of the park, there is a
square shaped
Add a hyphen
square-shaped
show examples
 rose garden with benches
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all four sides in the new map
instead
 of a fountain. Earlier there used to be a stage in the
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
 section, but recently amphitheatre has been constructed for concerts.
Thereafter
, the rose garden and sitting arrangements in the southern segment is being taken down.
Submitted by debojit.chakrabarty4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: