Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

#education #systems #students #focus #subjects #age #study #range #school #system

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Many

students

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are made to attend certain classes when they are 15 years of age, while others are required to learn various

subjects

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before leaving school.

This

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essay will examine some benefits of each system; before proving that the former is better. There are many merits of each method. Regarding the benefits of studying all

subjects

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, many

students

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choose to learn all

subjects

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because it can help them access a variety of knowledge. After all, studying a variety of

subjects

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can help them become more proficient in their

subjects

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Besides

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, when they

study

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many

subjects

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, they have more opportunities when choosing a college major. Turning to the benefits of studying only certain

subjects

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;

this

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problem can help

students

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study

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more efficiently.

This

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leads to them being able to concentrate on studying certain

subjects

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without spending

time

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on unnecessary

subjects

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Besides

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, they can save

time

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to participate in leisure activities, avoiding stress. They choose to

study

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their favourite

subjects

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instead

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of all

subjects

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;

hence

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, they have a lot of free

time

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and that

time

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they can relax or learn more about their favourite

subjects

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Moreover

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, I think it is better to learn some essential

subjects

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than to

study

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all

subjects

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Firstly

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, studying many

subjects

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takes too much

time

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for

students

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For example

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, my sister chooses to

study

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all

subjects

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and she always has a headache because she studies too much and has no

time

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to rest.

Besides

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,when my sister's friends are rested and entertained in various ways, my sister has to go to school to be able to keep up with all the

subjects

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Secondly

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, studying fewer

subjects

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helps

students

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study

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well while still being able to rest.

For instance

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, in the UK, many

students

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have chosen their favourite

subjects

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instead

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of studying all

subjects

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. Schools apply

such

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learning to help

students

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learn comfortably, most effectively, have leisure

time

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and not be pressured by studying. In conclusion,

although

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the knowledge learnt in various classes is potentially helpful, I believe that a

study

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program with not so many classes is more beneficial to

students

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who can have more

time

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for deeper

study

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or relaxation.

Submitted by phanhai288 on Sat Oct 02 2021

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the government should invest in teaching science rather than in other subjects for a country development and progress. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.