Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

#education #systems #students #focus #subjects #age #study #range #school #system

Many

students

are made to attend certain classes when they are 15 years of age, while others are required to learn various

subjects

before leaving school.

This

essay will examine some benefits of each system; before proving that the former is better. There are many merits of each method. Regarding the benefits of studying all

subjects

, many

students

choose to learn all

subjects

because it can help them access a variety of knowledge. After all, studying a variety of

subjects

can help them become more proficient in their

subjects

Besides

, when they

study

many

subjects

, they have more opportunities when choosing a college major. Turning to the benefits of studying only certain

subjects

;

this

problem can help

students

study

more efficiently.

This

leads to them being able to concentrate on studying certain

subjects

without spending

time

on unnecessary

subjects

Besides

, they can save

time

to participate in leisure activities, avoiding stress. They choose to

study

their favourite

subjects

instead

of all

subjects

;

hence

, they have a lot of free

time

and that

time

they can relax or learn more about their favourite

subjects

Moreover

, I think it is better to learn some essential

subjects

than to

study

all

subjects

Firstly

, studying many

subjects

takes too much

time

for

students

For example

, my sister chooses to

study

all

subjects

and she always has a headache because she studies too much and has no

time

to rest.

Besides

,when my sister's friends are rested and entertained in various ways, my sister has to go to school to be able to keep up with all the

subjects

Secondly

, studying fewer

subjects

helps

students

study

well while still being able to rest.

For instance

, in the UK, many

students

have chosen their favourite

subjects

instead

of studying all

subjects

. Schools apply

such

learning to help

students

learn comfortably, most effectively, have leisure

time

and not be pressured by studying. In conclusion,

although

the knowledge learnt in various classes is potentially helpful, I believe that a

study

program with not so many classes is more beneficial to

students

who can have more

time

for deeper

study

or relaxation.

Submitted by phanhai288 on Sat Oct 02 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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