IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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While
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 some claim that
professionals
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 ought to
work
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 in the
countries
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 where they did their training, others believe that anyone will be able to migrate to another
country
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 to
work
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. From my point of view, both of the given arguments have their merits but I would lean toward the latter. On the one hand, one appealing reason why a
country
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 should require their
professionals
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 to
work
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 locally after finishing their training is that the
country
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 spends money and resources to train these people to become
professionals
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 in the field.
In addition
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, the authority paid a complete fee for education and services facilities for doctors or engineers so if these
professionals
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 leave the
country
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 to move to another
country
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, it will be a huge loss for the
country
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 in the future.
For example
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, when the number of doctors leave their
countries
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 significantly, that region will encounter a lack of medical care services resulting in many repercussions for society.
On the other hand
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, Some people think that
professionals
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 should have the freedom to
work
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 in other
countries
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 if they want. The reason is that every person always has the right to choose the place where they desire to live or
work
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 because it not only is able to bring more benefits
such
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 as income, facilities or advancement
and
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but
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 ultimately they
also
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 will achieve satisfaction in life.
Moreover
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, the astounding rivalry for employment
also
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 affects migration in their
countries
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due to
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 a lack of jobs.
For instance
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,
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in the 19th, an increasing number of
professionals
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 from Israel moved to America to inhabit because of the rise of wars in their
country
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 In conclusion, there are reasons why doctors or engineers must
work
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 for their government after training, but in my opinion, they should have the freedom to move overseas to
work
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.

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task achievement
Ensure all main points are sufficiently supported with specific examples or detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical transition between ideas to strengthen coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which guide the reader through the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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