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Band 6.5

Nowadays children spend more time playing computer games than doing sports. Why is it happening? Does it have a positive or negative effect on their development

#children #time #computer #games #sports #effect #development
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Nowadays, more and more children are engaged in playing games on computers more than exercising outdoor sports. The leading cause of
this
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 trend is the availability of electronic
devices
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 and the carelessness of their
parents
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. In my perception of view, it is a negative development. In
this
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 essay, I will highlight the reasons and outline their impacts on
mental
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the mental
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 and physical well-being of siblings.
In
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On
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 one hand, it is the enhancement in
advance
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advanced
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 technology and the availability of technological
devices
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such
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 as laptops, pads and
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smartphones
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smart phones
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smartphones
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. The propagation of them makes it is easier for everyone to handle them in the era of technological development.
Furthermore
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, the carelessness of
parents
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 towards their siblings,
therefore
Linking Words
 they spend hours on those tools amusing themselves.
As a result
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,
this
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 will affect them and make them lead a sedentary lifestyle. On top of that, it may cause serious mental issues, since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood is the
time
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 of mental and physical development. Addiction to those
devices
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 is a crucial dilemma, bring them about to live in a virtual world resulting in social isolation.
For example
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, my kids stay indoors, spend a long
time
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 on mobile phones.
Therefore
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, the
parents
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 should limit the
time
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 that their kids handle those
devices
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 for two hours maximum duration the day. In conclusion, children play video games for long hours more than playing sports.
This
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 trend will affect them
on
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in
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 the long term and lead to many ramifications on their mental and physical health.
Parents
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 should tackle
this
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 issue by encouraging them to play outdoors and limit the
time
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 on technological
devices
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 before they lose their siblings.
Submitted by hudakarboly on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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