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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
People
 in one part of the
world
 can find that they shared many similar habits with many
people
 in the other part of the
world
. It is movies, films and I suppose the most popular hobby can be found in many
people
 is
music
. It is true that
music
 can connect enormous different types of
people
 in different parts of the
world
.
Music
 has a tremendous influence and it can gather
people
 with different originality. I suppose that
music
 has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unpredictable power to bring
people
 in
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
 of the
world
 together for the only goal: make them close together.
Therefore
, many
music
Change to a plural noun
musics
show examples
 created with harmony melody which interesting
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
people
 who love those types of
music
 can
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 it together.
Moreover
, there always has many live
concert
Change to a plural noun
concerts
show examples
 of the band or the musicians that they love, so many
fan
Change to a plural noun
fans
show examples
 can join in and enjoys
music
in directly
Correct your spelling
indirectly
show examples
 and
this
 is a
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
 to make friends with other
people
 who has
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 feeling. Another reason why
music
 is a good thing to make everybody close together
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 of
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 meaning. Every time musicians or bands composing an album or a song, they always want to create
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
things can make
people
 happy, or can share feeling with them. The melody and every single
words
Change to a singular noun
word
show examples
 can affect human feeling, it is the power of
music
.
In contrast
,
music
 can be a reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 conflicts domestic or
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social. Enormous songs are created for
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 or old
people
 only, and it creates a lot of bad thinking in the other side group.
Therefore
, while a person
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
 listening to a type of
music
 they love, other
people
 in a family can be annoyed and think it is not suitable. To sum up,
music
 is a mirage thing which can bring to human many positive feelings, but it
also
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 many things that need not have.
Submitted by hnphu79 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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