Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's world, people often seek solutions based on their immediate circumstances when faced with various
situations
. While
some individuals aim to find ways to enhance their lives in the future, others choose to accept poor situations
to address immediate issues. In my opinion, striving to improve one's circumstances has a positive impact.
On one hand, accepting a challenging situation
can help resolve immediate problems. For example
, when faced with large debts, people often take any available job to manage the pressure of monthly repayments. Consider a young couple who, after purchasing a house with a mortgage, quickly find jobs that barely cover their loan payments. While
they manage the current financial pressure, if they have a child, the added expenses can make their situation
challenging again. It may be easy to accept an undesirable situation
to solve a current issue, but it becomes difficult when new challenges arise.
On the other hand
, aiming to improve situations
often leads to creativity and more opportunities. The rapid advancement of technology is a result of scientists who were not satisfied with the status quo and continually sought improvements in each situation
. For instance
, experts recognized the limitations of gasoline and the environmental impact of petrol vehicles. Instead
of merely increasing public transportation or reducing private vehicle use through policies, they innovated by developing electric vehicles, which protect the environment while
meeting people's needs.
In conclusion, while
accepting difficult situations
can temporarily solve present problems, striving to improve these situations
is a better approach, leading to sustainable development and increased innovation.Submitted by ldnmail21 on
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task achievement
While your essay provides a complete response to the question and covers both views effectively, it would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations, especially in the second paragraph. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong logical structure and your introduction and conclusion are very clear. However, using more varied transition phrases could enhance the cohesion of your essay, making it even smoother to read.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the topic with clear and well-explained ideas. Both views were fairly discussed before you presented your own opinion, which was well-reasoned and supported.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph transitioning well to the next. The introduction sets up the discussion effectively and the conclusion provides a satisfying summary of your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite