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Band 5

Topic: The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars ?

#topic #cars #people
Increasing usage of motor vehicles
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 creating
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of issues.
Although
, it produces more pollution and traffic congestions, in order to mitigate the
problem
, the government need to take adequate efforts which I will discuss in the forthcoming paragraphs. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 numerous
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 that occurred due to
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples
 of
cars
.
Firstly
,
air
Add an article
the air
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 pollution level is increasing day by day because every person
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to travel by their own car, which produces chemical fumes into
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
 and
harmful
Add a missing verb
is harmful
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 for
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 environment as well as for the individuals.
Secondly
, traffic congestion is
also
major
Add an article
a major
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 issue faced by the population,
people
 unable to reach
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their destination at
time
Add an article
a time
the time
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, they
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
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 in the traffic for many hours, which tends to
wastage
Replace the word
waste
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 of time.
In addition
 to
this
, it ruins the natural fuels, because the consumption is more and supply is less. In order to solve the
problem
, authorities need to discourage
people
 to avoid
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
cars
. If government
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation , make them more convenient and
easily
Replace the word
easy
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availability
Replace the word
available
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,
then
people
 would prefer to travel by public transportation
instead
 of their personal vehicles.
Also
,
people
 should make aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the side effects of using
cars
, so that they can understand their responsibility
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
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environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
.
In addition
 to
this
,
Add an article
the
show examples
regime should impose
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
 tax on buying
cars
, it not only reduces the purchase of
cars
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
, decline
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 usage. To conclude, while there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 that
caused
Add a missing verb
are caused
show examples
 by
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of
cars
such
 as, environmental issues and an extension of natural resources;
however
,
people
 can be discouraged by government actions .
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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