IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With a growing population many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. what are the advantages and the disadvantages of doing this.

#population #people #focus #gm #foods
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In recent days , the population has been increasing tremendously .
Therefore
,some people vocalize that the necessity of manufacturing genetically modified food.
This
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
 scenario in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand,there are plenty of merits to produce
GM
foods
.
Firstly
,in
this
 modern era
Add a comma
,
show examples
individuals prefer white-collar jobs rather than cultivation so
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 manufacturing of
Gm
 will help to reduce the shortage of
foods
.Many of youngsters are graduated so they are not interested to work in nature they should focus the career which gives more opportunities;
however
foods
 are inevitable because of that
gm
 food has pivotal .
For example
, few years before
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 has prohibited
gm
foods
 but
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has given approval to many
gm
foods
.
secondly
,the majority of
gm
foods
 are healthier and cheaper .it has been
sourced
Change the form of the verb
source
show examples
 of many nutrients and vitamins
although
 grown with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 pesticides. To prove that,a survey has
conducted
Add a missing verb
been conducted
show examples
 one of the cities,which shows individuals are bought
gm
foods
 to gain nutrients.
On the other hand
 ,due to various
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
gm
foods
 have demerits. Some people have affected allergenic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 while using
gm
foods
 because
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 altered DNA and
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of manufacturing processes. For evidence,one of my friends was hospitalized after had
gm
foods
.she has got allergenic issues after the consumption. To conclude,
gm
foods
 have many advantages and disadvantages;
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effective manufacturing process will reduce the drawbacks.
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
expecting
Change the form of the verb
expected
show examples
 that people will depend
more
Add the preposition
onmore
show examples
 the
gm
foods
 in future because
Change preposition
of it's
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 advantages.
Submitted by Shalushiva6582 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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