Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
day and age, a debate with regard to the definition of
success
Use synonyms
has been sparked, drawing much attention from the public. While some
people
Use synonyms
insist that
success
Use synonyms
can only be measured by
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
sum of wealth, I would side with those who are of opinion that their
contribution
Use synonyms
to
society
Use synonyms
signify
Change the verb form
signifies
show examples
their
success
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the view that
people
Use synonyms
who have high incomes are the most successful could be plausible to some degree.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who have a high salary are able to buy prohibitively expensive products or services, which is
driving
Correct article usage
the driving
show examples
force behind an
improve
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
in not only their living standard but
also
Linking Words
their social status. Another compelling factor is that
people
Use synonyms
become being rich due to their efforts and
determinations
Fix the agreement mistake
determination
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
achieve accomplishments. Take Elon Musk as a salient example, thanks to Tesla cars, he has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
the richest magnate in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is ample evidence that
Use synonyms
contribution
Replace the word
contribute
show examples
to
society
Use synonyms
is far better compared to being wealthy in defining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, the
contribution
Use synonyms
of teachers or scientists is a criterion in signifying
success
Use synonyms
since those intellectuals, through their academic contributions, are shapers of minds and
thus
Linking Words
their influence can
last
Linking Words
for generations.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
contribution
Use synonyms
of rich
people
Use synonyms
should not be overlooked since many
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
moguls play an integral role in developing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Musk has recreated, rejuvenated and redefined every industry he has encountered, from media and finance to transportation and energy. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealth is a premise in being successful, I believe that
contribution
Use synonyms
to
society
Use synonyms
is far
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better in signifying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by star.nguyenhuyhoang.2409 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: