In some countries, parents want their children to focus on their studies only. Because of this, many young people do not get their first job until after college. In other countries, many children get their first part-time job while still in high school. Which approach do you think is better? Why?

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There is no doubt that education is the most crucial thing for
people
. In fact, all of our
life
depends on our educational background as well. In some
countries
, many individuals believe that students must only focus on studying.
In contrast
, after
graduated
Change the form of the verb
graduating
show examples
they can not get any jobs. On the one hand, students in other
countries
both study and
work
at the same time. In my opinion, I totally believe that part-
timetime
Correct your spelling
time time
time-time
jobs while studying high
school
is the best option because they can learn how to survive in the real world. In some Asian
countries
such
as Thailand or South Korea, the value of studying hard to offer a high wage job is popular in both parents and learners. Indeed, critic reveals that the consequence of
this
is that they will know little more than how to
work
like the machines. Sadly, newly graduated students do not comprehend how to
work
together and manage daily expenses due to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lack of experience. Unlike
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other counties
such
as the U.S. or the European
countries
, schools teach teens to offer
life
experiences
such
as part-
timetime
Correct your spelling
time time
works. Surprisingly, the notion of
people
there is to think out of the box. "Lessons in the classrooms is only 20% of our
life
, the more essential thing is to realise how to survive in the real world", said Bernat, from the Netflix American high
school
movie. I could not agree more with
this
statement because high
school
working conceives teenagers several
life
management lessons, which are not taught at
school
. In fact, part-
timetime
Correct your spelling
time time
time-time
work
is not only selling burgers but
also
online business, cryptocurrency, or Youtuber. Receiving money from their works, they will automatically desire to accumulate money.
In addition
, understanding how to solve the problems and working in order will be learnt while they are working. At
last
, they will be ready to grow up to be successful
people
. To summarise, from my point of view, the only hard study does not give you the experiences how to survive as both workings. Due to the fact that
life
lesson is not only in the classes, but
people
also
require how to live in society.
Submitted by buildtobuilt on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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