Women can do everything that men can and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But it is a fact that their work is not appreciated as much as men's, although they have to sacrififice a lot for their family and career. It is said: "A woman's place is in the home." What do you think?
It is crystal clear that ladies are so powerful and they even act more powerful than men do in some locations. indeed their activity is not appreciated as it would be just opposite men ;
also
,they put all their property into their work . Some people say that they should do household which I totally disagree with and I will analyze my twofold reason in this
essay.
In the realm of science it is proven that some careers
are more suitable for women ,as they are more sensitive some professions are better for them . For example
, being a teacher needs not only kindness but also
patience which makes this
job a perfect choice for ladies.In fact, being a teacher needs a lot of emotion which you can seek in laydys . In general, some careers
should be given to females.
Needless to say , on the other hand
, there are some careers
which are better done by men.It is a fact that females are extremely sensitive about doing some jobs ,for example
, working as a miner is a career in which the best candidates would be male . In fact, ladies should face significant enigmas working in a mine. Consequently
, some other jobs are more suitable for males.
As a result
, we can make a conclusion that ,on the one hand, some careers
are a perfect choice for males ,and on the other hand
some others are suitable for females ,but in General, the outcome of some jobs would be better by a special gender as long as some other are for others.Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay structure lacks a clear and logical sequence, making comprehension challenging. Sentences are poorly structured, which hinders the coherence of the text. Better organization of ideas is needed.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present but they need to be clearer and more impactful. The link between them is weak, which diminishes the overall effect of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned but not developed fully with relevant supporting details and examples. Aim to include clear, well-explained examples that reinforce each point.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the prompt, but the content is not fully expanded with comprehensive ideas and evidence.
task achievement
Ideas presented are somewhat clear but they lack depth and comprehensive elaboration. Strive for a fuller exploration of the topic with structured, detailed paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. Including concrete examples will improve task achievement by supporting your points effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite