IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extent do you agree.

#health #exercise
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No one can deny the
importance
Use synonyms
 of
exercise
Use synonyms
 for our
overall
Linking Words
 health. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Even though our daily lives are becoming more and more hectic and stressful, we can see that
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of people involving themselves in daily
exercise
Use synonyms
 routines is proliferating.
Exercise
Use synonyms
 has various forms. It could be team sports, weight training, or as simple as various walking and breathing exercises. An exterior look into the benefits of
exertions
Fix the agreement mistake
exertion
show examples
 is that it keeps the body fit.
However
Linking Words
, a deeper look reveals how exercising can strengthen your bone and muscles,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps improve your ability to do daily activities, increase your chances of living longer, and many other benefits. It is
also
Linking Words
 known that physical exertions affect us mentally as well. Being fit is entwined with our self-worth,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 we see ourselves. We tend to be happier, and more self-confident. Taking part in sporting activities,
such
Linking Words
 as football,
basketball
Correct word choice
and basketball
show examples
also
Linking Words
 helps us to build character because, as we are part of a team, every individual brings certain qualities to the table.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is the responsibility of the group to play on each other's strengths and weaknesses.
This
Linking Words
 in fact works as a team-building
exercise
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many football teams during the break between seasons travel to other countries and play against local teams. During these games, the managers will mostly mix the older players with the younger players when they set their team out, so that both sets of players get the feel of what their colleague is about,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thereby adapting their game
accordingly
Linking Words
. Let us shed light on the
importance
Use synonyms
 of doing a sport. As
this
Linking Words
 is a way of making people fit.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will feel happy and enthusiastic. Noticeably, sportsmen have special fun and power. Doing an
exercise
Use synonyms
 strengthens the immune system and builds muscles.
To conclude
Linking Words
 even though, everyone is racing for more time in
this
Linking Words
 hectic world, people still do give
importance
Use synonyms
 to
exercise
Use synonyms
, as they know the
importance
Use synonyms
 it plays in the quality of life they lead.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

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task response
Task Response: The essay fully addresses the given prompt and presents a clear stance on the importance of daily exercise for improving health. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, contributing to a comprehensive response to the task. Well done.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure and a clear progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the discussion. The main points are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more cohesive devices such as linking words and transitions to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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