Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

People
have different views about the definition of personal
happiness
depending upon how they feel it. Some
people
consider
this
way that it is directly related
economic
Change preposition
to economic
show examples
success
meanwhile others think about the factors
such
as
health
, romance and others. Personally, I am inclined with the early group for many reasons.
Firstly
, it will not be the same opinions upon it with
people
who are living
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
countries. Poor countries’ citizens who feel poverty and unemployment have the potential to consider more, economic
success
is the
happiness
as opposed to those who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in wealthy countries because economic growth and living standard are low in poor countries.
For instance
, a daily employee earns to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the basic needs of her family, so inevitably it might be personal
happiness
in addition
for
people
who seek
joyful
Replace the word
joy
show examples
in their business the more they succeed in their business, the more they feel immense pleasure in their life.
Therefore
, economic
success
plays a significant role related to personal
happiness
for those
people
.
On the other hand
, economic
success
is not
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
priority for
people
with
disability
Fix the agreement mistake
disabilities
show examples
, they will
be longed
Correct your spelling
belonged
show examples
to live
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
normal
people
with good
health
and else a
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
who has million dollars bank balance statement feels depressed if his
health
is messed up, so only
health
could be their real
happiness
.
Furthermore
, as other instance,
people
who feel tragical romance will be wanted to have with the
bless
Change the form of the verb
blessing
show examples
of true love relationship than economic
success
. To conclude we would not generalize personal
happiness
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
directly related
economic
Change preposition
to economic
show examples
success
. Personally, I am inclined with the early group for
this
due to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
as a struggling staff in my poor country, Myanmar.
Submitted by susueducation on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: