IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say the main environmental problem of our time is the lose of a particular species of plants and animals. Others say there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #lose #species #plants #animals
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Considering recent environmental issues, some people believe it is
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as
Change preposition
apply
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a
result
Use synonyms
 of
extinction
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the extinction
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 of various plants and animals . Whereas , others are of the view that there are more essential factors contributing to natures
problems
Use synonyms
. I will discuss both views and
also
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 give my opinion in
this
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 essay . 
Firstly
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, on one hand , most individuals feel the global changes in our surroundings is due to the fact that some species of
vegetations
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetation
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 and mammals are no more existing.
Hence
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 changes in terms of deforestation which is due to
trees
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tree
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 uprooting and lack of cultivation of plants
consequently
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leads
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lead
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 to
errosions
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erosions
erosion
 which could
further
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result
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 in natural disasters.
For instance
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, a study carried out by John Walker a geologist in 1990 showed that one of the major causes of desertification in
Northern
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the Northern
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 part of Africa was as a consequence of uprooting trees . In regards to the reasons given above it
is consider
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is considered
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 that environmental
problems
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 faced in Modern days could own to disappearance in some kind of plants and animals.
However
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,
on the other
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hand
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,hand
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 a good majority think that the crisis happening in our natural habitant is
as a
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result
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 of
man made
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man-made
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problems
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. Following the current health challenges
face
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faced
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 by humans, it can be drawn to
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the conclusions
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conclusions
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conclusion
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 that most of these illnesses are caused by air pollution which is due to carbon monoxide released in the atmosphere by vehicles and industries.
For
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example
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,example
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 a survey was carried out and the
result
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gotten
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got
has gotten
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 proved that people residing in
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
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over crowded
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overcrowded
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 cities were prone to having respiratory illnesses.
Although
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 a good number of factors are involved in environmental
Harzard
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Hazard
 pollution by people play a major role. In conclusion, in my perspective both sides of
this
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 argument have their merits ,
nevertheless
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 am of the view that artificial global warming is the most pronounced cause of environmental
problems
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.
In
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addition
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,addition
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 I recommend Government should enlighten
nation
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the nation
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 on ecological preservation.
Submitted by edelquin1996 on

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