Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several individuals are of the opinion that an important method of uniting various folks from different ethnic groups and age range is through songs. In my perspective, I strongly agree that
music
is an essential tool that can be used to bring
variety
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a variety
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of humans together because it can be used as an instrument for religious
activitie
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
and for exercise too.
Firstly
, the main reason why I think sounds can serve as an instrument to unify
people
of all works of life is due to the fact that most churches
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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to Praise and worship their creator.
Apparently
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,Apparently
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both adults and children are found in
this
gathering , they perceive it to be a way of motivation for them. To illustrate, I will
use
myself as an example during my teenage days , when children were forbidden in my home town to be in the presence of adults, I got the opportunity to meet with some elderly
people
owing to the fact that I attended Sunday services . Considering the significant role of
music
it is obvious the benefits are essential for socialisation.
Secondly
, fitness has a vital function in human well-being
as a result
there is a major relationship between
music
and exercise. Many families make
use
of sounds during these activities
moreover
, these
performance
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performances
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are done in groups and it attracts different
race
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races
show examples
together.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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the Zumba and Yoga dance which is
good
Add an article
a good
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method of exercising
use
lyrics for its steps. A good number of
people
from different
part
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parts
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of the countries and age
group
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groups
show examples
come together to practice
this
form
Correct your spelling
lucrative
lucration
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of lucration
show examples
. In conclusion, I still stand on my view that I strongly agree
to
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with
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the fact that
music
can be a vital route to solidify various cultures and peer
group
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groups
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as one. I recommend that
people
should listen to it quite often.
Submitted by edelquin1996 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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