IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In most countries fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #food #development
The growing popularity of fast
food
 at cheaper prices can be witnessed in many countries over a few recent years. While some are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 trend due to the economic advantages and consumers’ pleasure that fast
food
 provides, others argue that it is a negative development, especially for the overall
health
 of society. From my viewpoint, the drawbacks of
this
 trend are far more severe than its benefits. Advocates of the expansion of fast-
food
 chains typically subscribe to the convenient consumption and the employment opportunities it offers. Since junk
food
 usually has an affordable price and delicious taste, it is accessible for the majority of the public.
People
 can find and buy fast
food
 almost anywhere and anytime, so it is a perfect option for
people
 with hectic schedules and
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not have time for home-cooked meals. Aside from the convenience for consumers, the fast-
food
 industry
also
 makes contributions to the economy. Companies like KFC, Lotteria, or McDonald’s are large employers that create jobs for millions of
people
 every year, helping to lower the unemployment rate in many countries.
Also
, the tax gained from their business operation can strengthen the national budget, which is
then
 allocated to and invested in other sectors.
However
, the adverse impact of fast
food
 on
health
 is significant. Junk
food
 itself is high in fat, sugar, salt and contains many artificial additives, all of which have been scientifically proven to be associated with many
health
 issues
such
 as obesity, diabetes, or hypertension. The rates of
people
 getting these diseases are of large proportions in Western countries, where fast
food
 consumption is
also
 the highest.
Furthermore
, many fast-
food
 manufacturers are profit-driven and
thus
 may overlook
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
 safety standards. The sterilization process may be neglected and ingredients may be reused constantly, doubling the threat posed on the
health
 of consumers. Consequences range from
food
 poisoning,
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 to digestive disorders and even death. In conclusion, the widespread use of fast
food
 implies many harms for consumers’ well-being, which overshadows the instant advantages it delivers
Submitted by phanhai288 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Nutritional value
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Job creation
  • Disposable income
  • Culinary diversity
  • Processed foods
  • Economic stimulus
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Sustainable practices
  • Public health
  • Consumerism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: