In education and employment some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

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There is a truth that not only in studying but
also
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in working, there is always a number of
people
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that
work
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harder than others. There are several reasons for
this
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,
however
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, I believe that
people
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who
work
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hard will definitely have more opportunities to achieve success. The reasons why
people
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have to spend 100% of their physical and mental health on studying or working might be they want to achieve the rewards that are usually offered to the most excellent individuals or just because they do not want to miss the chance to be brilliant so they can have more opportunities to have a good job with high salary in the future.
For instance
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, most schools throughout the world have attractive awards
such
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as cash, scholarships, or other things to encourage
students
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to try their best in studying, and most
students
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, especially poor
students
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, will try to study hard to win prizes. Regarding the working field, the most popular thing that pushes most employees to
work
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hard might be a chance to get promoted or bonuses that are promised for their devotion from the boss. I am convinced that working hard always benefits
students
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and employees. There is no doubt that most
students
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who get valued scholarships to study at global famous universities are often studious guys. Only a minor percentage of
students
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who do not spend much time studying but with a very high IQ can get academic achievements or scholarships.
Moreover
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, dedication at
work
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often not only gives staff the chance to get a higher salary
as well as
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a better position inside a company but
also
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helps them to build a strong brand name in that field and get much more attractive offers from other companies. In conclusion, the reasons
people
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work
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harder
while
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at school or at
work
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may be different, I strongly believe that
people
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who
work
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hard are always beneficial because they will not only be able to get a valuable reward soon but
also
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give them more experiences in that field
as well as
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build a strong brand name to have more opportunities in long term.
Submitted by hoangdaosales on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines what the essay will cover, such as mentioning both reasons for hard work and its benefits.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow.
task achievement
Try to cover a wider range of reasons why people work hard, not just rewards and promotions but also personal satisfaction or responsibility.
task achievement
You have included specific examples, such as scholarships and promotions, which are helpful in illustrating your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured well, with clear sections for argument presentation and a concise conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively open and close the argument, setting the stage and summarizing the main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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