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Band 4.5

ONLINE SHOPPING IS SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASING. WHAT EFFECT DOES THIS HAVE PEOPLE, WHAT ARE THE DEMERITS AND WHAT ARE THE JOB OPPORTUNITIES?

#effect #people #demerits #job #opportunities
All
people
 know that online shopping’s popularity is growing day by day. Nowadays
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of products are ordered online, not in real
life
, because if you compare
this
 with buying in real
life
,
then
 it is many times faster.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
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 you don’t need to look for a product in the whole store for hours.
Instead
 of
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 you can find what you want
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 one click in online markets. Online business
also
 has advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
, as I mentioned before shopping online saves our time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several times, you can just click
to
Change preposition
on to
show examples
 search bar and find
your
Change the pronoun
you
show examples
 desired in one
second
.
Moreover
 online has
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 extensive
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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 in items because those stores are all over the world.
For example
, I wanted to get some accessories from “Naruto”, but I couldn’t find them in my country so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 decided to order them in “
aliexpress
Correct your spelling
express
” where most of the goods
produced
Add a missing verb
are produced
show examples
 in China.
Secondly
,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper than shopping in real
life
, due to the fact that in real stores salaries are paid to workers
who’s
Correct your spelling
whose
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 number is very big.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are some cases when low quality or another product is delivered
instead
 of
original
Add an article
the original
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.
It’s
Replace the word
Its
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 causes may be negligence of the seller or it can be scammers. All problems
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 attached to scam and online shopping
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 no exception.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 online business gives a lot of opportunities to workers like IT specialists and deliveries. Every online store should have its own website which must attract
people
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. For
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 we need IT
people
 who design and set up those sites.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 profession which makes a profit from
this
 is are the delivery men. The main feature of online shopping is delivery services
after
Add the comma(s)
,after
show examples
 all, it is almost only for
this
 that online stores are needed. It is necessary to summarize that online shopping is the new era in the
life
 of modern
people
 with great opportunities for the future.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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