IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #lives #crimes #violence
Execution is one of the
punishment
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punishments
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 that prison who do something badly can receive it,
nontheless
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nonetheless
 many
people
 think that it is too strong and it is uncivilized. While there are those
people
 who believe that legal
punishment
 can inhibit crime cases, I entirely agree
punishment
 is the only way to reduce those crime scenes. In order to send a
person
 into
a
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apply
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jail, the
person
 must do something that society can not stand with that or his behaviour harms
other
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another person
other people
show examples
person
. To date, many
group
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groups
show examples
people
 send
Add an article
a request
the request
show examples
request
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requests
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 to the government about
execution
Correct article usage
the execution
show examples
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of prisoner
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prisoner
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prisoners
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 who
rape
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rapes
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 others due to these cases appear several times recently. Especially during the pandemic, a multitude of
people
 do not have any cash to pay at the end of the month, so the
last
 approach is to harm others. These have bolstered that without legal
punishment
 not every
person
 will do moral things. Having said that, without capital
punishment
populaton
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population
 in the country have to prepare themself even when they stay in a house.
Moreover
, the crimes will
increased
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increase
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 significantly because
villians
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villains
 can do anything they want, and they still enjoy
with
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apply
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their life on other
people
's hardships. If the country
have
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has
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 no any discipline, it could change
people
 behaviour directly so that
preventg
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preventing
prevent
 themself from criminal, they have to get home before sunset because outside is no longer safe.
Lastly
,
sancing
Correct your spelling
dancing
 is the answer to solve those situations
although
 it can not stop violation completely. I believe that if we do not have disciplines, our lives would be more difficult.
Submitted by phantomdancing1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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